Dream Weaver Jewelry (and more!)

Just an artist making her way.


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Within.

We go though our day-to-day lives with very little thought to those around us.  We look at others and assume we know what they’re thinking.

This also happens online (I would know. I play World of Warcraft.) – the assumption that “Oh they’re a <insert profession here>, so they must be <generalized stereotype here>!”
I found out today that an old friend from my high school days has left the world.  I’d seen hints, but could find no information until I asked another school friend about it, one who is in the area. The rumor mill whispers “Suicide”.  I have no concrete information; I can’t find any, and it seems few have what information there is.

All the time I knew this person, he smiled, joked, made light of life itself, determined to cheer others, lift spirits, help others.  He was a Firefighter and an EMT, and at one point, checked me over after I was hit by a car at school (too minor for any kind of statement; suffered bruising that’s still on my legs, nothing more).  He once told me “don’t let the turkeys keep you down” in my yearbook.

He was a wonderful artist, though he kept to himself the outflow from mind to paper much of the time I’d been around him.
He was one of the few I knew that could remix and splice music back in 1995.  He was good with computers (or at least arguing with the technology we had to work with in the high school’s theatre), at least as far as I could see.

The last time I saw him, however, was not a happy time.  It was at the funeral of another friend – his ex-girlfriend, in fact.  The circumstances revolving around that are more complicated below the surface.
She had an asthma attack.  He was one of the responders.
The clearest memory I have of seeing him was hugging him and telling him clearly, “this wasn’t your fault”.
We promised to keep in touch.
I gave him my information.

And now… I hear this, ten years later.

 

An EMT, a Firefighter, a cheerful face, a joker, making light of life and focused on making others smile.
The assumption one might make of the man I knew would have been “He’s always so happy!”

What was on the inside?
What was within?
What happened in those ten years?

I always knew there was more behind the mask.  It was always in his eyes, no matter how much he smiled (genuinely, those smiles reached his eyes, have no doubt), made fun of things, and came up with jokes out of the blue.
I’d had a crush on him, years and years ago, even.  I always seemed to go for the ones who had the depth, and I wanted to know what made them tick… Looks didn’t much matter, even then, so long as the heart was good.  Not that I’m saying I haven’t had some lookers… my current is… while not “handsome”, rather attractive, with eyes like a bottomless abyss.  I have the fortunate opportunity to get behind that particular mask and see what lies within.

Others might be able to say more than I can about what lay within.
It was most certainly more than “He’s always so happy!”
Especially if the rumor mill whispers the truth.

It happened only a day ago, after all.  Information will come.
The shock, however, will stay.
I wish I had been there, I wish I had still been in touch…
Now I will never know if there was something I may have been able to do.

I have said in several places the same thing, and I have meant it in every way.
When I knew him, he was one of the few who reached out a hand, figuratively or literally, to one of the most hated people at the school.  He made me smile in the face of constant bullying.  He gave me strength with a smile, a word, a gesture.  An EMT was fitting for him, a healer in heart and soul, aiding others and lighting their mood even through his own darkness.

The world has lost a heart of gold.

I promise… I will never let the turkeys keep me down.


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Chaos to Calm

Some time ago, I stripped my craft cabinet for a complete reorganization.  I’ve managed to sort out much of the “random stuff” boxes into properly labeled ones, but there are still a few things left to sort – as well as some things from the latest order (which included the 12k gold wire waiting for the final approval of a pendant that is currently in progress) without a home.

The last week has been a hectic madness, as it always is before a visit from the family – detailing the house, making sure cushions are sticky-rolled to remove stubborn bits of fur where the cats sneaked onto the bare furniture instead of the pet-covers (the kitten, Sassy, is notorious for pulling the pet-cover aside to lay directly on the couch cushions), making sure the kitchen is in order, cleaning off the catch-all that is the dining room and kitchen tables, picking up cat toys from odd locations, etc., etc..

After the madness of the family visit for Mother’s Day (and the cleanup after), I took a look around my room, sadly neglected for a couple of weeks now, what with yard work (we finally did manage to get a couple of the stumps of the shrubs completely OUT of the ground, and had to stop when the others wouldn’t come up), and then the week of madness.

About fifteen minutes with the label-maker, and everything but a couple of things I’m currently using are all away, labeled and … compact.

The new boxes and organizing containers I’d picked up fit into the cabinet so much better than the old ones, and the labels on the front stand out so it’s far easier for me to grab the smaller box of what I need instead of going through a mishmoshed larger box of many supplies.

I turned after putting everything but what I’m working on away… and found my room much cleaner than I’d thought.  I’d thought there was much more strewn about – but laundry falling out of the basket, the clean laundry I haven’t folded, a soda can that the kitten knocked out of my trash can and chased across the room (I wish I had video of THAT one.. it was priceless)… A few moments work and my room is now tidier than it has been in weeks.

Without anything to worry about until Memorial Day, I have breathing space to work on just usual chores and the projects I’ve had to abandon in the madness and my lack of work lamp (which now has a new bulb).

If feels wonderful for the calm of normalcy to return at last…. Until the madness hits again.

I leave you with one of the projects still on my workspace: the first hair chain, which now has a photo.

WIP Butterfly Hair Chain

WIP Butterfly Hair Chain

A huge thank you to my sister for modeling it (amidst the madness over the weekend!) for me for the photo, since I can’t take photos of the back of my own head!
This is but one of the projects that the Chaos had uprooted, but is the only one ready for photography, though it’s not done.
I need to go back into the cabinet to get the rest of the supplies out for this one, as it will be a “Bridal” chain when I am through; hung with freshwater and Swarovski pearls as well as Swarovski Opals, and perhaps Moonstones as well as the clear crystal that is already on it.  We shall have to see what works in the end.

With luck, I will have two more (World of Warcraft related) projects ready for photography with the next post, and perhaps a completed hair chain!